So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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