K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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