Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
