apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
