Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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