its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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