Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
