When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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