Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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