Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
