i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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