think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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