your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I must be too annoying 4 u.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
