i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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