there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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