I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
