okay pat passed out under dana's car
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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