oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is wine microwaveable?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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