I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
