Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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