i'm lost and i look like a hooker
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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