I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
