I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
