FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Your cock deserves a montage
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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