she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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