so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
