Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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