I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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