I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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