that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
