So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
