Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
