Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
