Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
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I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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