how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
