have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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