I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
