Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
