i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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