sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
