I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
