big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize