I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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