My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Randomize
