fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
