the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
