How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Let's get the cat blown out
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize