K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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