Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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