Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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