C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
