I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
