i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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