girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
