if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
third nipple confirmed
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
