So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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