it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she smelled like a LAN party
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
