ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
