Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
