ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
