Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
