it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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