I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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